I was watching The Simpsons today and Homer, as usual, said something that made me think. In the episode, he is really nervous about something and tells the person next to him that his stomach is filled with “vomitting butterflies”.
I think we all now that feeling. Your about to give a speech, or go to an interview, or walk past a person you really like and your stomach is flopping around all crazy. I remeber feeling that way clearly when I first flew into Washington DC back in June for my job interview. That morning, I had to get up at 4am to make my flight. I hardly ate a thing. Flying makes me a little queesy as it is. As I sat in my first ever suite going to a job interview for a dream position halfway across the country, I looked down on the colonial homes lining the Potomac and though- what the heck am I doing!? I wanted-no-needed to scream or laugh or something on this airplane filled with this unfamiliar business crowd. I had no access to a phone to talk to anyway and ask for that last little bit of silly assurance that the world would not need a wheelchair to take me out of the interview because I managed to put both of my feet into my mouth.
…but of course I talked myself down and stayed cool and enjoyed the company of the people who eventually became my co-workers. It was fine. On the flight home, nerves were no issue.
I thought of it again recently because I gave two pretty big, imporant presentations in front of people. I got a little nervous but remembered, I’ve done this before, it will be fine. And it was.
It strikes me as something that must happen with age- you get older and you can’t get nervous as much anymore. You’ve already written a history of getting past life’s little queesies. The butterflies stop vomitting….slowly they stop even fluttering. You just end up with some butterflies shrugging..saying…eh….you’ll get through this.